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Hyacinth

  • "But I thought your friends liked your lilac car ..."
  • "Beautiful day, isn't it? Completely conducive to contemplating cozy charismatic country cottages."
  •  "The Bouquet residence, lady of the house speaking. (Pause) Oh, it's you Daisy".
  • "It's my sister Violet, the one with the Mercedes, sauna and a musical bidet. Classical, of course.".
  • "It's my sister Violet, the one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony."
  •  (about the clergyman/Vicar) "Rings his own bells? How democratic".
  • "My next door neighbour, Elizabeth, you met her at one one of my candle light suppers, she drops things".
  • "But is it a large tear in his flamenco frock?"
  • "I once caught Richard playing with a frisbee, he said he found it, but I wasn't sure."
  • "I'll have to have the Vicar's confirmation that this is Angel Gabrielle blue."
  • "They are my family and I love them dearly, especially at this time of year, when it gets dark early."
  • "The one thing that distinguishes us from other people is the absence of vulgar noise"
  • "Now listen horse, I'm not a person to be trifled with."
  • "I do apologise, Vicar, I must answer my white, slimline telephone with last number redial facilities, it's bound to be someone important."
  • "I do hope you're not going to spoil things with lower middle class humor"
  • "Oh no dear! I couldn't let you loose as a Roman again!"
  • "Home, Richard! I will not share my throne with these impostors!"
  • (while searching for Iron Age remains) "According to the book, we should find the remains of barrows somewhere around here. I expect they carried rocks and things around!"
  • "Its a matter of complete indifference to me whether the milks pasteurized, immunized, sterilized or privatized! I will not share my milk bottles with strangers"
  • Hyacinth while talking to the vicar: "What is the missionary position in China these days?"
  • (Hyacinth) "Richard, I've been offered a job at Frosticles."
  • "People who try to pretend they're superior make it so much harder for those of us who really are."- Hyacinth
  • "It's very tiring boating on foot."- Hyacinth
  • "Important as I am in local circles, I have not yet risen to the level where I can walk on water."- Hyacinth

  • "I will not have you spreading rumors that I might be married to somebody who wears overalls."- Hyacinth

  • Hyacinth: It's my sister Daisy. She's not the one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony.

  • Hyacinth: This is not the Chinese restaurant. This is a residential number and you are speaking to the lady of the house on a white, slim line telephone with last number redial facility

  • Hyacinth: [on the phone] No, I will not send over another portion of deep-fried squid. This is not the Chinese take-away. You are connected to a private residence on a white, slimlined telephone with last-number redial facility.

  • Hyacinth: Oh, Richard. You know haw much I love daddy. I would have him here if it wasn't for all the time he spends in the bathroom.

  • Hyacinth: Take your shoes off before you enter the house, dear.


  • Hyacinth: Coffee in ten minutes, Elizabeth! Bring Emmet!

  • Hyacinth: Sheridaaaaaaan!

  • Hyacinth: Tell Onslow to go and put a shirt on.

  • Hyacinth: It's Bouquet!

  • Hyacinth: It's Bouquet! B-U-C-K-E-T!

  • Hyacinth: I would be very pleased if you would accept my invitation to one my candle light suppers

  • Hyacinth: Rose, that skirt's too short!

  • Hyacinth: If my Sheridan were here he'd be appalled!

  • Hyacinth: Sit wherever you like, dear... *except* there! I always like to face the window.

  • Hyacinth: Richard a little decorum please, that is not the sort of behaviour one would expect from a person with a reservation for a quailty cruise

  • Hyacinth: I want you to instruct your superiors that this is a first class stamp residence.

  • Hyacinth: All the men like Rose, that's her problem.

  • Hyacinth: What a wonderful sense of duty Daddy has.

Onslow

 

  • (Onslow, after Hyacinth is startled into the hedge by his barking dog) "A little less noise you daft bitch! That goes for the dog, too... ha ha ha!"
  • (Onslow, after ascertaining that neither Daisy or Rose have bought him any more beer) "Look at me, sitting here, completely surrounded by no beer!"

 

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